Feelings

(Inside Out from Disney is a perfect example of how I feel right now)

I've spent my night doing quiet activities. I took my two dogs out for a lovely walk just before the sun went completely down and was happy I didn't have to wear a coat.  I made myself a simple dinner of avocado toast with fresh eggs on top. I made myself a very small Clementine margarita and watched two quick episodes of Shitt's Creek while I ate because I needed some laughter in my day. 

I talked on the phone with my brother about all that is happening right now. I did some laundry and I had a Google Meet with Verda and Angelle. I've tried not looking at election results but I've peeked and it really only takes a glance to understand that our country is in real deep shit. While it isn't a landslide and it is really too close to call I am literally shocked at how RED the map is and that some of the old characters like Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell have survived this. I'm crushed. It's chilling to think this through. We're raised a nation of people who are non-thinkers, of hateful followers.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to get up and I'm going to walk to school in the beautiful late Fall weather and I'm going to have a day. I'm going to try to shut out the few (but loud) young children who will be elated because they've been chanting Trump for weeks.  I'm so very worried for this exact follow mentality. And the superior attitude. I was already tired of the trucks with flags, and the bumper stickers plastered all over cars and trucks. I don't know what the next four years are going to look like no matter who actually wins tonight.  How did we get here? Never before have we had such division unless you want to discuss the Civil War era.  And more importantly how are we going to fix this?